My eBay Experience With Darren Clarke

Being an eBay seller, I run into all kinds of people. I run into the overly-informed and the under-informed. I generally run into nice people. Sometimes, I run into a kook. It just goes with the territory.

I've had the chance to converse with, through e-mail, many relatives of ballplayers. If I see that the last name matches or they come from the same city listed on the back of the card, I'll usually include a little note asking if they are that player's relative. I also say that if they are, to tell them good luck with their career. I especially do that if it's a rookie. They need all the encouragement they can get at that stage and I really do wish them well.

Tonight I had a strange e-mail from an eBay member who just signed up today. They included an e-mail address at the end of the message, but I won't include that here.

Why are you selling my cards with fake autographs on them? Trying to make a buck off that crap? You should have just sent one to me maybe if your lucky I would have signed it. Get a life. You can e-mail me if you have the balls.

That kind of took me by surprise. Nowhere in my description did it say autograph, but I e-mailed back.

Is this a joke? I never claimed there was a real autograph on the card. The card is printed that way by Topps. Look at any picture of a 2007 Topps 52 card of "yours" and you will see the exact same thing. If you are who you say you are, you should know that. But I doubt it.

I got a response back from "Darren".

Yea you should look at the topps 52 cards that are signed in blue. That s my autograph. I ve never signed anything like that let alone use my middle name to sign.

That sounded like he at least calmed down. I responded back in a friendly manner.

They usually use the signature from a contract. If they can't get that on the card, I would imagine they fake it for the base cards so they look like the 1952 cards. I've found some interesting base card reproduced signatures that look nothing like their actual autograph counterpart.

I should have left it alone, but I got a very immature response back.

You think topps fakes our autograph on our cards? I have my topps contract from when I first signed in 2001 and I have my contract from this year for the three thousand cards. Have fun with your terrible looking autographs.

Again, this shows how uninformed some people are. If this is actually Darren Clarke, then I feel sad for him. He, again, completely misses the point of my e-mails back. Don't blame me for that, "Darren", blame Topps for pre-printing such crappy autographs on their cards. If that's not your autograph, then someone at the company faked it. It's as simple as that. I had one last response that I sent to "Darren".

Topps uses a facsimile autograph on the Topps 52 line to make it look like their 1952 set. Sometimes the facsimile that they use is taken from a copy of a contract that you have signed with them. Wherever it is taken from, it is a pre-printed autograph. Your real autograph signed by your hand looks much better than the pre-printed ones.

I haven't gotten another response back from "Darren" yet. I don't believe that I will. If this is the real Darren's attitude, I don't think he'll make it unless he has electric stuff everytime. Somehow, I don't think he can do that. Everybody gets hit sometime. I don't care who you are.

He's kind of funny, in retrospect. I think I'll call him Larry, since he doesn't sign that way.