Thursday, March 3, 2011
The Adventures Of Charlie
Hey, bro! Did you see the picture I tweeted? Right up your alley!
Which one? The Pong playing, the hot dogs or the milk?
Do you even have to ask? Neither! The Wrigley seat, bro!
Why would I be interested in that?
Aren't you like the biggest Cubs fan I know?
I like both Chicago teams equally.
Don't give me that crap, bro! I'm on Tiger Blood and I'm winning this conversation!
What the hell are you talking about, man?
You just said that crap about the White Sox to try and get in to the 2005 World Series.
Sure, whatever you say, man.
Seriously, are you alright? Do you need a doctor or something?
You think just because you portrayed a White Sox player in the World Series in the movies that it entitles you to get into the World Series for free?
No. Why would you even think that?
Because I'm winning!
Why do you keep saying that?
I'm living life on Warlock time and all I need to survive is Tiger Blood! I'M WINNING!!!
I've got the power of Babe Ruth inside me. I wear his 1927 World Series ring. I can eat, smoke and screw all day long.
Do you really think that?
I've been a White Sox. I've been an Indian. I'm athletic. I'm Shoeless Joe in reverse!
Seriously. What is wrong with you, Charlie?
I'm not Charlie. That's just a character I play on TV. I'm Reverse Joe Jackson! I have the power of Babe Ruth in my hands! The goddesses will tell you.
What goddesses? The porn star and the nanny?
How dare you degrade them like that! They are goddesses who are relaxation specialists. They take care of my kids. I take care of them.
By the way, where are the kids?