1971 Topps #156 - Bart Johnson
Photographer: "OK Bart. I want you to lean forward and try to scratch your left knee with your right arm, but pretend that your knee is stretched out in front of you."
Bart: "Uhhhhhh, what?"
Photographer: "Great! Keep that facial expression! It works with the fake scratching pose!"
Photographer: "This is great, but there's something missing. I know! Pretend that you recognize me."
Bart: "Of course I know you. You're the photographer that's been taking my picture since I got to the bigs in 1969."
Photographer: "OK, Bart! I want you to keep that pose. Keep that expression on your face. Now pretend that you know me and start waving hi with your left hand."
Bart: "But I do know you."
Photographer: "Pretend that you know me and wave hi."
Bart: "But I..."
Photographer: "Wasn't that breakup something last year? Totally unexpected."
Bart: "What breakup are you talking about?"
Photographer: "Keep waving, Bart! What breakup, he says. Paul's talking about letting Linda in the band. If that happens, do you know where I'll be?"
Bart: "No. Where?"
Photographer: "I'll be out of this lousy gig and on the road taking important pictures of the band that will be bigger than the Beatles. That's where."
Bart: "Bigger than the...?"
Photographer: "Oh yeah. Much bigger! Those three were holding him back. And I'm gonna cash in on it. Linda's a good friend of mine. You'll see."
Bart: "Who'll take my picture next year?"
Photographer: "Who am I, the Question Man? I don't know. Some schmo. This isn't where the money is. Baseball is for kids. No one past puberty cares. Music is where the money is."
Bart: "I like baseball."
Photographer: "You sure do kid. Keep wavin'."
But the joke was on the photographer. His casual acquaintance with the Eastman family did nothing to get him into the inner circle of the great band known as Wings. He was shamed and turned to the bottle. Unable to face the ballplayers the next spring, the photographer quit his profession. He hitchhiked to Alaska, where he fell in love with a caribou. Dejected from forbidden love, he wandered the United States for most of the seventies. Eventually, he settled into a homeless community underneath the Queen City Parkway bridge in Gainesville, Florida.
Bart settled into a comfortable role with the White Sox as a scout, after his pitching days were through.
The music industry has suffered many setbacks and can no longer be considered the cash cow that it once was.
Paul ended the greatest band of the seventies after an arrest in Japan. He currently roams the world, playing impromptu performances, while trying to avoid the one legged woman.
The Question Man died in 1962, along with Percy Dovetonsils.
Some "schmo" did take Bart's picture and his hair was second only to Oscar Gamble.
Baseball is no longer just for kids, nor has it really ever been.
Photographers have a hand in some of our greatest baseball cards.
Bart Johnson is a really nice guy.