Wednesday, April 20, 2011

30 Day Horror Challenge: Day 28

I have watched hundreds of horror films in my time. Horror movies can be made on the cheap. That is why there are so many of them out there. This means that a lot of them slip under the radar. This is one of the reasons why I loved old school video stores. I could spend hours in the horror section soaking up all the oddities. Even if a film was bad, it was still entertaining. Sometimes, you could find some gems that would have remained hidden if it wasn't for a mom & pop video store.

Your favorite horror film that no one’s ever heard of.
Blood Diner (1987)

This film is preposterous. Even so, it's deliciously fun! I remember watching the trailer over and over again when the short lived "Cable Video Store" was on our old cable system. Basically, it was an early version of pay-per-view. The trailer looked entertaining and when I finally saw it a few years later, Blood Diner lived up to everything I had imagined it to be.

Two boys are left alone when their mother goes to the store to buy maxi pads. During the mother's absence, their Uncle Anwar stops by for a short visit, while on the run from the police. He had just committed a massacre and the boys watch as their uncle is gunned down by police.

Fast forward twenty years later and the boys dig up their uncle from the cemetery, where they find his brain and eyeballs perfectly preserved. They plop their uncle, who they can hear talking, into a jar. The uncle instructs them to prepare a blood buffet to bring about an Lumerian goddess named Sheetar. The brothers kill immoral women, stitching body parts together to resurrect Sheetar, while feeding the rest to their customers at a health food diner. The goal is to have a blood buffet, where a virgin girl will be sacrificed and eaten.

During the quest to bring Sheetar to life, there are many over the top kills. One memorable scene includes shoving a freshly battered naked girl's head into a deep fryer. After her head becomes a gigantic breaded ball, she runs around panicking, while her muffled screams fill the air. She meets her doom not by the deep fryer, but by a broom. Did I mention the wrestling matches? Yes. This could quite possibly be the greatest movie ever made.

1 comment:

LoCoDe said...

Man, that sounds like my life story...

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