Thursday, January 8, 2009

My Own Horrorfest

I need to recharge my batteries after the long holiday. I've been thinking and thinking on how to do that. Then inspiration hit from an unexpected source. MLB Collector is in the middle of a Horrorfest, so I've decided to borrow the idea and throw one of my own.

Out of my 1,000+ DVDs, I selected fifteen titles that run the gamut of horror. I've left out a lot of familiar titles that I've seen countless times. I decided it would be fun to focus on movies that I like (in some cases love), but don't immediately think of popping in.

Over the next two weeks, I will be popping in these movies at random and rekindling my love affair with horror. I'm hoping that this will psyche me up enough to find out where the 3-D remake of My Bloody Valentine will be playing near Chicago. I've only seen one semi-3-D movie and it's on this list.

In alphabetical order, here are the movies I chose to watch.

Army Of Darkness
Bruce Campbell is awesome. There's no way around that. This was supposed to go right into a fourth movie, but that never happened. I will be watching the director's cut with the original apocalyptic ending. What can be better than fighting off an army of the dead in medieval times with comedy thrown in. I must remember my boomstick!

The Birds
Classic Hitchcock! After working for a bird breeder and watching this movie, I'll never look at lovebirds the same way. In a sacrilegious move, they made a sequel to this movie. Is there anything creepier than tiptoeing through a flock of murderous birds?

Bloodsucking Freaks
This is a Troma release. Horror fans should know what to expect from Troma. A theatre of the macabre, where the macabre is real. Evil little people, a sadistic slave owner, human dartboards and a scene with a straw that you can't unwatch.

A movie with stories from a comic book. This fascinated me as a kid. Stephen King utters the most most quotable phrase he will ever say when liquid goo from a meteor gets all over him. Leslie Nielson can hold his breath for a real long time.

The Crow
The death of the star of this film marred the movie. Or did the death of Brandon Lee help it? Either way, this is an example of a "comic book" movie done right. The only bad thing is that this movie spawned a thousand Halloween costumes in my town that year. It can't rain all the time.

Dawn Of The Dead (original)
Consumerism disguised as zombies. A great movie in the "Living Dead" series. The remake was OK, but this is the original. I have three different versions of the movie. What a tough decision to make when the time comes.

The Devil's Rejects
This movie seems more polished than it's predecessor, even though this is technically a sequel. You begin to see the cast of Rob Zombie regulars in here, but it's pretty good stuff. I don't want to live inside Rob Zombie's head. It's full of terrifying things and seventies music.

In heaven, everything is fine. This movie will either bore you to tears or creep you out enough to want to make sense of it. Is this David Lynch's fear of parenthood playing out in this remastered print? Maybe, maybe not. I still want to know how he made the baby.

From Dusk Till Dawn
Did Cheech Marin get three paychecks for his time in this movie? He plays three different roles. This starts out as a crime thriller, then morphs into a kick ass horror movie about halfway through. Never saw it coming. Ever wonder what Quentin Tarantino would look like as a vampire? Here's your opportunity. The only thing I don't buy is that George Clooney is his brother.

Take the Greatest American Hero and throw him in a house with an extremely pissed off Bull from Night Court as a Vietnam vet zombie and you'll see how cool this movie actually is. Throw in White Sox fan George Wendt as a nosy neighbor and you've got a great movie where a child is kidnapped by the house he lives in.

It's Alive
The first movie in this trilogy(!), is a cult classic. How does pollution effect an unborn fetus? It turns the kid into a monster that tries to kill everything in sight. It's slightly dated, but it still produces some chills.

Nightmare On Elm Street Part 6: Freddy's Dead
Of course Freddy is dead. That's how he invades your dreams, silly! This is one of the worst Elm Street movies ever made. It does have some redeeming qualities that saves it from rock bottom. 3-D effects in the last ten minutes of the film. Alice Cooper plays Freddy's abusive dad. That's almost derailed by the appearance of Roseanne and Tom Arnold. Still, the DVD comes with the glasses!

The killer flying sphere. The Tall Man. Just what is happening at the mortuary? An undertaker with superhuman strength takes bodies out of the grave. Cloaked jawa looking creatures that are possibly from another dimension. The Tall Man can kick the ghostly preacher from Poltergeist 2's butt!

Return Of The Living Dead Part 2
This is the silliest of the Return series. It's also one of my most endearing memories of the late eighties. The cut off hand running around is a classic. The nod and winks to the original "Living Dead" series and the previous Return film are great bonuses.

The Shining
I don't care if Stephen King thinks this version is compete trash. Jack Nicholson and Stanley Kubrick made a masterpiece. The miniseries was good too, but this was better. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

OK, enough with the non baseball and non White Sox stuff. We now return you to your White Sox baseball card blog.


Anonymous said...

Good list. My question is, what is wrong with seventies music??? Skynyrd, Joe Walsh, Blue Oyster Cult...awesome. :)

Steve Gierman said...

Nothing's wrong with the seventies music. It's just that Rob Zombie uses it in every movie that he's made so far. I'd like to see him branch out a bit.

Bay Rat North West said...

House! Hooo my. I had forgotten I ever saw that one. Netflix here I come.

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