It's been a few months since I threw out a random card. This card is sitting on top of a small stack on my desk, waiting to be put into an Ultra Pro page and stored for safe keeping in a binder."It's right here. It's looking at me".
He's an ugly little spud isn't he?
"I think he can hear you".
Just then, Carlos Martinez leaped out of the card he had been imprisoned in since 1990. That surprised me. I had that week old lasagna from the fridge for lunch, but I never expected it to react like this. I hadn't been drinking. No medication to be found. It must be the lasagna.
"Ugly little spud, huh"?
It's a line from a movie. They sometimes pop in my head at random.
"Why haven't you put me away? I see you playing games on the computer instead of owning up to your responsibility to these cards".
I've been meaning to, honest.
"I could have been subjected to a life of toddler drool, but I ended up here. Don't abandon me at the last leg of my journey".
OK. I'll get right on it.
"You'd better. You see this bat that I'm carrying"?
Yeah, I see it.
"If you don't put us away, I'm going to go Catholic style on your knuckles with this bat"!
OK, calm down. Geez, I'm glad Frank Thomas replaced you. He's so much easier to deal with.
THWACK!
Hey! I think that broke the skin! No, not really, but ow.
"Put your cards away and never mention that name"!
Frank Thomas?
THWACK!
Ow! OK, that's it. See this finger? I hope you're wearing a cup!
Just as I was setting up for some real life paper football, Carlos vanished. Did that really happen? I look back at the card and I swear it's mocking me. I flip through the stack and find Frank Thomas flipping the bird. Maybe it was at Carlos Martinez. It did really happen! I think I'd better put these cards away and stop eating Garfieldesque sized portions of heavy pasta for lunch.
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