I originally thought that I would have a rare Friday by myself. So I planned to put most of my blogging off until Friday night, including this post. I had the best intentions and I...BANG!
"Oh, I'm sorry. Did I break your concentration? I didn't mean to do that. Please, continue, you were saying something about best intentions. What's the matter? Oh, you were finished. Well then, allow me to retort. Does Aaron Rowand look like an All-Star?"
What?
"What country you from?"
What?
"What ain't no country I ever heard of. They speak English in What?"
What?
"English, White Sox Cards, do you speak it?"
Yes.
"Then you know what I'm sayin'?"
Yes.
"Describe what Aaron Rowand looks like!"
What?
"Say what again. Say what again, White Sox Cards, say what one more time"
Uh, he's white.
"Go on."
Uh, he's got a goatee.
"Does he look like an All-Star?"
What?
BANG!
"Does Aaron Rowand look like an All-Star?"
No.
"Then why are you trying to make him one?"
I, didn't.
"Yes you did, Steve, yes you did!"
I'm... I'm... sorry?
"OK then. What about Jermaine Dye?"
I'm not sorry about that.
"Correctamundo! You read the Bible, White Sox Cards?"
Not regularly.
"Well there's this line I got memorized. The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men."
OK, so what's that mean?
"It means that you must stop obsessing over the Legend. By Rowand failing to make the All-Star team, you must show off that cool card you received of him last week."
The 2008 Spectrum swatch?
"Check out the big brain on Steve! You're a smart one. That's right."
What if I try to make Rowand an All-Star next year?
"I lay my vengeance upon you."
Gotcha. Good to know.
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