Tuesday, April 1, 2008

I've Decided To Switch Teams

After seeing the "ace" of the White Sox staff give up seven runs in one inning, I had to do some serious soul searching. What has become of this team that I've loved for 26 years? How can they be so far removed from their World Series year?

There have been no easy answers. With the White Sox spinning their wheels this year, I've decided to jump on the Cubs bandwagon. Yes, the die hard White Sox fan has finally relaxed and accepted the inevitable. Chicago is a Cubs town and there is no room for a second team that performs badly.

This was not a decision taken lightly. The loss of Jon Garland has impacted me in ways that I never would have thought possible. I now know what the Cubs fans felt like when they got a poor relief pitcher for their own ace in the making, Jon Garland. The payment of $4.5MM to Juan Uribe made more sense before the addition of the hole in the glove wonder that is Orlando Cabrera.

The Sox even found a malnourished kid to play in center field on Opening Day. While I think it's admirable that the Sox are willing to sponsor a starving child, I don't think it's wise to let him play professional baseball. I'm waiting for a gust of wind to blow this kid onto the Dan Ryan.

The Cubs have a better plan. They are playing with a chip on their shoulder. 100 years without a World Championship is a huge chip. They have a bullpen that gets it done and the starters don't give up seven runs in an inning. The offense has captured the minds of every Chicagoan and human being alike. It's just that good!

The Cubs even have a more sensible manager. Sweet Lou would never let those three calls go the opponents way. It's a thing of beauty to watch Lou work an umpire over and get his way. Ozzie can never do that gracefully enough to succeed. Ozzie will swear up a storm and get tossed. That's not any way to inspire your club to victory.

I'm not the only one who feels this way. Other teams have let other people down as well. The addition of Johan Santana has got dayf giving the Mets a shot, since the Braves Opening Day loss to the Nationals. Jose Canseco's recent book has got Mario looking into the merits of a healthy Alex Rodriguez obsession. Even Tatiana has grown weary of Derek Jeter's smug attitude and has thrown her support onto Orlando Hernandez.

Jumping on the bandwagon is easy, once you do it. Believing a word that's written in this post is a bit hard to swallow. If you were gullible enough to be duped by this post, then you are truly an April fool. I do have some cheap land along the Sea of Tranquility that I will sell by the acre. Any takers?


Wax Heaven said...

Whoa, I almost fell for it!!!

Fleerfan said...

You almost had me believing as well! Nice job!

mmosley said...

I still believe it.

There aren't really White Sox fans in Chicago, are there???

Steve Gierman said...

Would you be interested in some lovely seaside property?

Jason T. Carter said...

I was a bit excited until I realized what day it was, and then read the last paragraph. I thought, "Finally, he has seen the light!" But alas, YOU remain the fool by clinging to your ChiSox. ;)

Dinged Corners said...

Thought maybe you found some Fukodome love. But noooo.

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