Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Random Card #2

Judging by this "deer in the headlights" look, I am convinced that Barry Jones could be brainwashed in the future. In 2013, he will be worshipping a head of lettuce named Ralph.

"Welcome to Life Is Love. I hope you enjoy your stay here. Would you like a flower? How about some Kool-Aid? I'm sure your stay here will be pleasant. Ralph provides for everyone."

"Um... thanks. I just came in here to get directions to the baseball card shop."

"I used to play baseball. That was before I discovered the power of Ralph. Won't you join us in our celebration?"

"Uh, what are you celebrating?"

"The all-knowing power of Ralph. He provides for us through Mother Nature. He gives our lives a purpose. A direction."

"Speaking of directions, do you know the way to the card shop?"

"You do not need cards. All you need is Ralph. Ralph will provide your mind with comfort, so you won't have a need for cards. Would you like to meet Ralph?"

"Sure... why not."

"Ralph, we have another believer in your presence. May he join our cause?"

"Um... you do know that Ralph is a head of lettuce, right?"

"Ralph is more than a head of lettuce. He is our savior! He comes in many forms. When this is vessel is used up, another will replace it."

"Another head of lettuce?"

"Yes! It can only be a head of lettuce of a predetermined size to truly be the right vessel for Ralph!"

"Yeah... listen... I gotta go. It was lovely meeting you Ralph. Good luck with the providing and all that."

"You now know too much! You will be the sacrifice for Ralph to have a permanent vessel!"

It would be about this time that I high-tail my size 11 quadruple E's out of there. Frankly, I'd probably be out of there as soon as I saw Barry's eyes. And yes, I did steal the plot from an old episode of What's Happening!

I'm almost certain that Barry Jones is a good guy. He was decent for the White Sox in 1990, that's for sure. Plus, he was trade bait for Tim Raines, before the 1991 season.

Another fantastic card from the stack from Out Of The Mill.

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